The Blame Game- Everybody Loses

My brain is full of thoughts and they roll around and bump into one another so I'll try my best to put them down in a coherent way. I'm a medical social worker and by virtue of this profession I deal a lot with the disenfranchised, poor, and for lack of a better word, needy. Consequently, I also work with some of the most privileged and elite of our society, medical professionals. These interactions prove interesting on a daily basis. It is these interactions that have spurred a lot of thinking and led me to this blog post. I guess it's too early in my career to be frustrated, but here I am. I'm tired of the endless blaming. I'm tired of the victim getting the short end of the stick. I'm tired of people who always talk about those that abuse the system. I'm oh so very tired of claiming Christianity as a nation and doing the exact opposite of what Jesus commands. Why is it we are so adamant about the abortion issue yet we hate our neighbors? Is it because unborn children are innocent and are aborted by no fault of their own? I think so. Interestingly enough, these children we save from abortion will likely grow up in poverty on welfare and food stamps and we'll get a chance to blame them later when they have children as teenagers, too. (ps. don't hate me strait away- I'm for children being born, just saying) I hear time and time again (and I confess, I think this at times, too) that people don't deserve help for some set of reasons or another. Perhaps, they keep having babies just to get a check from the government. Or maybe they have perfectly done fingernails and ask for help with bus fair? Or maybe they smoked their whole life and now they have lung cancer? What about the battered wife who just won't leave the husband. At some point she deserves what she gets, right? Have we forgotten that within our own hearts resides the same hypocrisy? Shame on us. Do we not realize that an unborn child and a homeless man who got that way from drinking are equally loved by the Father? Why should this be a flagrant statement? This is GOOD NEWS! We are all in the same sinking boat begging for salvation. Some of us are wearing nicer clothes and know the right people but that is all that is separating us from one another. We are ALL sinking. See Romans 3. We have failed one another, ironically most of the time in the name of Jesus. We blame those who "abuse the system" and argue the government shouldn't provide for everyone. Yet, we do not extend our homes and help. We're scared. We close our eyes and hope they'll all just disappear. Sometimes, we do more than that. We don't want the government to help. We don't want to help. What we really want is to not be faced with depravity. But shouldn't this produce a conflict within ourselves? Hear this, if only this, Jesus doesn't command us to love the unlovable b/c it's the hipster, Tom shoes wearing, organic chicken eating, World Vision sponsored child, thing to do. Jesus commands us to love the unlovable so we realize the depths of our own sin AND that we demonstrate the UNCONDITIONAL (read: you don't earn it OR lose it) love of the Father. The End.

9 Months.

It's hard to believe on this day nine months ago I was wearing an amazing dress and celebrating our marriage with all of our favorites. I meet people on a daily basis at the hospital who have been married for 50+ years and our short 9 months feels like chump change. Even still, we celebrate as a lot can be accomplished in 9 months. The most obvious being a baby. To the dismay of all of our parents, that isn't the case just yet. Yet, we have still accomplished quite a bit in this short period of time and learned more than we bargained for. People have told us that your first year is one of the hardest. I certainly did not believe them. In spite of all our changes the first 6 months felt like a breeze. And then there was routine. Had marriage really boiled down to debating what was for dinner and watching wayyyy too many episodes of Law and Order: SVU (my personal favorite)? It feels like, at times, all we do is wake up (wish some difficulty for me), work, eat, watch tv, and sleep. Even now I can hear my parents laughing. I don't know what I thought marriage was and I'm certain I still don't know but surely it has to be more exciting than this. Before I make you all worry I'll skip to the good part. :) I am reminded looking back on our amazing wedding day that we were certain these days would come and we promised one another to learn from them, and we have. We have learned so much in these 9 months and I would love to catalog them here for us to look back on. First, I am so grateful we had a wedding. I am sure there were tons of things we didn't have to have that I obsessed over but mostly I'm glad I did. When it gets hard for whatever reason, I can look back on that day and remember with great certainty this is where I am supposed to be. Now I'd be pretty blind to not see the small but significant parallel in my own faith. Certainly the joys of life are not reprieve from the sufferings but rather strength to endure them.

Second, I am so grateful I have a partner in life. I was reminded of this fact just this past week as I had a serious bout with my stomach. It won and I really really reluctantly went to the emergency room. I felt as though I needed a limb severed to ever go to the ER but my loving husband and great mother advised it was the best plan going into the weekend. Two things I learned, I'm a terrible stick and my husband gets to sign all the paperwork. Honestly, it was so great to have Andy there to look to when I was worried or hurting. They couldn't find a vein and after multiple attempts I just looked at him and we talked about whatever we could think of to ignore the needles. I don't have any fear of needles but 5+ sticks and I was hurting. Also, it's such a small thing but it was pretty cool to have someone take responsibility for you and sign all these papers. Here's hoping he didn't sign away our few possessions! :) PS. I'm fine, going for some more tests on Monday but it's probably just some over active ulcers.

Third, I am grateful I have good friends. We have learned that friends are even more important than they were when we were single. Remembering who you are apart from your spouse is just as important as who you are together. In your first year you spend so much time learning who you are together it's easy to forget your friends and yourself apart from marriage. I'm grateful we give each other space to play disc golf (Andy) and have drinks with the girls (Kara), important distinction. The list could definitely go on but I'll leave it in good southern baptist (oops, great commission) fashion at three points. In summation, we aren't pregnant (I know, I'm sorry), I'm grateful we got married, even more grateful I'm married to Andy, and so blessed to have good friends. Amen. Pass the plate.