God likes when we lose.

I married a guy who is good at everything. Really, he is. If you know him I'm sure you've had the pleasure of losing to him in tennis, golf, board games, etc. It's annoying but somewhat endearing until it's your every day reality. I am coming to grips with the fact that I'll probably never genuinely beat Andy at any competition except for the occasional game of Yahtzee that is left totally to chance. About a year ago I decided I was tired of losing to Andy and took up losing to 50 year old women in a local tennis league. It was about four months ago that I quit. I was overwhelmed with finishing graduate school and planning a wedding. I just had too much on my plate to schedule tennis matches with ladies that seemed to not have anything better to do than harass me about hard or soft courts. I'm sure this isn't true but I was bitter. Then there was the fateful day, the day that led me to quit, in which I played a not so nice lady that kicked my butt. I could hardly make it off the court before the tears started to explode from my eyes. I thanked her (for a miserable time) and ran to the locker room. I hid myself in a stall and cried very hard. I'm sure there was a lot more behind my tears than just a bad match but I decided then I would quit playing competitively. Competition is not for those who cry over stray puppies.
In hind sight my quitting has made me realize two things. First, that I hate how competition makes me feel. I hate disliking a person based solely on the fact that they are on the other side of the net. I hate sending another person home upset should they lose. Though, I'm certain they don't cry in bathroom stalls. I just hate it. So, in that regard I'm glad I made the choice that I did. I can enjoy it for fun again.
However, the second thought I have, is that we learn more when we lose. When and if I win, I am certain it is because I finally perfected my forehand ground stroke. I am confident that my abilities are finally being displayed. I go home and think nothing more about the match.
When I lose, it is a very different story. First, I must figure out how to lose. Everyone comes to the moment where they realize this isn't going to end so well. At this moment, I have a rush of thoughts. I want to cuss, cry, blame, and the ugliness that lives somewhere inside of me comes to the surface and I run to the bathroom. Perhaps, it isn't always this dramatic. If playing doubles, it is even worse. If only my partner wasn't a ditz! Did you see her? She doesn't even know how to call the score?! I think what is worst of all, is that I have to face the fact that someone is better than me. I showed up to win and I lost. This is a terrible feeling.
Now you can see why I quit, right? No person who feels this way should ever be in competition. Well, perhaps I did myself an injustice. Sure, there is a lot of discussion about pushing through and conquering. We can do anything we put our minds to, right? Maybe I quit just before I got better and now I'll never know. Sure.
But, this isn't the reason I feel I might have preempted something here. Forgive me for making something trivial into something deeply spiritual, but I didn't develop character in losing. I just wanted all the thoughts and emotions to stop so I quit. Unfortunately, in life we lose a lot. We lose people, we lose jobs, we lose houses, we lose faith, we lose...and we can't quit any of it. We have to endure it. We certainly can band aid it and most of us know exactly what band aids work the best: shopping, drinking, eating, television, friends,isolation, etc. The truth is, God likes when we lose. Not because He is mean but because He knows we learn the most when we lose. If I won everything and never faced my depravity even in tennis, I would not feel the deep down need for something more. I would keep blaming and hiding in bathroom stalls. In a subtle way Jesus taught me through tennis that it is better to lose. I am better for it.
So, in this way isn't it better to be last? Not because last is noble but because first is easy. Am I not better if I lose my job? Not because being unemployed is ideal but because I have a unique opportunity to recognize my dependence upon God. Am I not better if people manipulate me and take me for granted? Not because I can show I'm better than that, but because I get to show grace and patience. I think the Bible says it best, and in a lot less words.

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.